Nvidia

In which we examine the curious trend of treating multi-million dollar microchips like a set of Victorian silver spoons at a high-stakes pawnbroker.

As Nvidia reports yet another record quarter, Jensen Huang takes a moment to gently suggest that the death of the software industry has been somewhat exaggerated, much like the reports of the Loch Ness Monster’s retirement.

In a move that defies both traditional fiscal gravity and the basic laws of thermodynamics, Nvidia is reportedly considering a $30 billion investment in OpenAI—effectively funding the very customer that keeps its production lines humming.

In a move that surprised absolutely no one who has ever tried to return a borrowed lawnmower, Nvidia has finally divested its remaining stake in Arm, bringing a quiet end to the industry's most expensive 'it's complicated' status.